The Year Of No Fear

That's right, this year we're going with a theme. The Year of No Fear, bitches! Or should I go with No Fear in '15? Hmmm, I'll think on it. Also, not important. Trying to deal with some deep shit.
For those who don't know me, I am the most cautious person in the world. I'm so concerned with how bad things can go, so worried about potential failure or rejection, that I don't even try. Who wants to live like that? That's bullshit, Alonzo! So it's time to make a change. I mean, I'm fucking 32. Beyond time to have dealt with my own crazy.
Okay, I haven't exactly decided how this is gonna play out. I already have hang gliding and bungee jumping and lots of traveling on the list of things to do this year. But that kind of stuff is easy. It's much harder to work on not believing everyone is a serial killer out to get me. Or that failing at something isn't the end of the world. Or, you know, not assuming failure or rejection is the most likely outcome of trying. The list goes on. I'm nothing if not self-aware. Balls to the wall Erica is hiding in there somewhere! She just needs to come out to play a bit (lot) more.
And obviously, for those who have asked, that is the point of the new tattoo. I'm hard headed. Courage over fear. I needed the permanent visual reminder.

I've mentioned a few times that 2015 will be the year to stop lying to myself. I'm hoping this doesn't become another New Year's lie. I'm sick of my own complaints. Time to get proactive and make changes, not hope that somehow things will happen from the comfort of my couch.


P.S.- Wait! I can't leave y'all hanging and not have an extreme weight loss goal! We're shooting for another 80lbs off in 2015. Unfortunately, there's no cool name for that. Oh, how I miss the days of 90 in '09. 80 in '15 does not have the same ring to it. Damn bitch, just lose the weight already. God!