Download

I finally downloaded the most recent version of iTunes. It totally sucks balls.

A Minor Issue

I hate when people/books say, "He/she shook her head yes." You don't shake your head yes, you nod your head yes and shake your head no. Get it right.

Passive Aggressive Theatre

Funny stuff. So my cousin's Beagle has recently decided he doesn't want to share our attention with Bernie and has taken to attacking him. To the point where he has to be pinned down to get him under control. He also takes all his toys and tosses them around. Bernie, being a big giant chicken, immediately backs off and hides in the hallway or the corner, pretty much until Beasley leaves the house. What makes it hilarious is yesterday, after Beasley leaves, Bernie picks up one of the toys that Beasley had and starts playing this totally growling, aggressive game of tug-of-war. I mean, he gets pretty into tug-of-war no matter what. But this was so clearly a "Yeah, do something now Beasley! This is what I'd do to you if you came back right now!" The big chicken can talk shit when the competition is gone, but acts like a big wuss when he's in the room. And the fact that Bernie is 4x Beasley's weight makes it all the more hilarious.

Christmas Favs

I was just thinking about my favorite Christmas music and such. Enjoy.

• Fav Christmas Song: "White Christmas," versions by Bing Crosby and Otis Redding
• Fav Instrumental Christmas Song: "Linus and Lucy," Vince Guaraldi (Completely unrelated to Christmas: Does anyone remember "Hey Ya" Charlie Brown? Hilarious).
• Fav Christmas Song Error: "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." I always thought this song was really inappropriate. Why would if be okay to discuss Moms creeping around on the DL with Santa? Well, what a relief when I learned Santa was actually Daddy dressed up. I was about 20 or so at the time. It wasn't a relief to find out I'm an idiot.
• Fav Christmas Song Debate: The correct lyrics to "Jolly Ol' St. Nicholas." Can't let a year pass without bringing that up.
• Fav Christmas Album: It's a toss up between The Jackson 5 and the Temptations.
• Runners-up fav Christmas Songs: "Let It Snow," Boys II Men; "Happy Xmas (War is Over)," John Lennon (?)

We'll end with some of my other favorite versions of Christmas songs.

• "Silent Night" -Boys II Men
• "Do You Hear What I Hear"- Whitney Houston
• "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"- The Temptations
• "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" -Jackson 5
• "The Twelve Days of Christmas"- The Muppets. When Beaker sings I almost pee myself.
• "Oh, Holy Night"- Cartman
• "Someday at Christmas"- Stevie Wonder
• Worst Christmas Song Ever: "Santa Baby"

I'm kinda racist. Most of these versions are sung by black people.My bad.

Muppets

The Muppets were quite progressive, when you think about it. They went beyond a bi-racial relationship and had an inter-species relationship on the show. That's hard core. They even talked about having frog/pig babies.

Bad Dog

Someone doesn't like being left alone at night. My evidence? All the pillows tossed off the couch, the couch itself totally slimed, half the dining room table being swept off, broken glass and pieces of candy on the floor, blood drops in the kitchen, and the golden ticket? A pile of poop on the basement floor. Luckily I had no electricity or heat so it was essentially half frozen. No wonder someone was hanging their head in shame this morning. Somebody has a few weeks to shape up or they're buying themselves nights in a crate.

The Bernie Chronicles

Bernie did arrive last night. Yeah! He's huge, but it's pretty easy to adjust to. In less in 24 hours we've learned that he likes to follow me around the house; when I'm working out he thinks I'm playing and brings over his toys and gets in the way; that he doesn't mind being accidentally stepped on (sorry, dude); and he likes to walk through my legs and just stand there. He did okay overnight. He's a loud roommate. Hopefully he'll settle down, but he kept waking up and circling in his bed. And I woke up every time. At points he'd be half on the bed, half sprawled on the floor. He sighs heavily and loudly. And because he's so big, when he moves around I think a human someone is in the house. He walks really well on his leash and responds okay to commands. I haven't patched the gap in my fence yet and he did escape last night. I go in the backyard and I see a giant shadow on the wrong side of the fence. Good times. Well, that's our initial Bernie update. I'm off all weekend if anyone wants to come by and meet him. Holla!!

Question

Am I the only person that thinks "Avatar" looks like the worst movie ever?

Oookay

I just got a spam e-mail inviting me to join FuckBook. I find that to be highly inappropriate.