Ahh Yes, Levels Of Showers

Many are familiar with the fact that I rank my showers into three levels. Let me provide a refresher course.

• Level 1: Basic cleaning only. Just your standard get in-get out 5 minute wash up.
• Level 2a: Cleaning+ shaving
• Level 2b: Cleaning+hair washing
• Level 3: Cleaning+shaving+hair washing

Obviously many others would only have two levels of showers, but I get three because I don't wash my hair everyday. And 2a is cleaning and shaving and not 2b, because I shave more than I wash my hair. And the only reason I categorize my showers in the first place is because I'm a loser with too much time on her hands.

Old Argument

I continue to believe that opposable thumbs are not necessary and we shouldn't consider ourselves superior life forms because we have them. I'm not saying that they don't make things easier, just that they aren't necessary.

How My Thanksgiving Kicked Ass

How could Thanksgiving alone kick ass? Oh, it did. Let me share my day with you. It started at midnight, which is when I woke up after sleeping for 15 hours. Kickass. I then took a level three shower. Post shower and grooming, I made a 2am run to Woodman's. And let me tell ya, Woodman's the day of a holiday in the middle of the night is a kickass time to go. Well, back at home I cleaned out my fridge and put my foodies away. The next few hours were spent making the only food I was actually craving (homemade mac and cheese), watching movies (Enchanted, Happy Feet, and Be Kind Rewind) , starting a new romance novel, doing laundry, washing dishes, giving myself a pedicure, and eating half a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food. All this was done in a pair of baggy sweatpants and a Hurley Midgets t-shirt. And it rocked my face off. I hope everyone else enjoyed their day as much as I've enjoyed mine. Mine will be ending soon, as I plan on going back to bed and sleeping until I have to go to work at 11pm. Let me repeat it one more time: Kickass.

If I Didn't Have A Conscience...

...I would totally be a criminal. I wouldn't kill people or anything, but I'd totally be a burglar. I already have theif-like tendencies and picking locks would be an awesome talent. But the whole clumsy thing probably wouldn't work in my favor.

What Does This Mean?

For the past week or so, I've been having dreams about all my eyelashes falling out. It started out with a few clumps here and there, but today I thought I was gonna wake up with completely bald eyes.

You Know What I Really Want?

A fake identity. And I mean, a for real fake identity. For real fake, ha, that's funny. Anyways, I want the full shabangabang: fake license and social security card, fake passport and visa, fake birth certificate, hidden accounts, new credit cards, everything. So if it was necessary one day, I can say "Holla" and break out. And I want them without having witnessed a mob murder and needing government relocation.

#1 Goal for Hawaii

Have a brief but torrid affair. Though a semi-anonymous one night stand would suffice. My traveling companions are aware. Shut up, Bob.