10.20.2010

Cosmetic Surgery

I need eyelid surgery. I have enough skin on my eyelids to cover a whole new set of eyes. I can't wear eye shadow, because it gets cakes up in my fatty eyelid folds. It's disgusting and I hate them. And I don't care what any of you say. I do ask y'all not to blatantly stare at their grotesqueness when you next see me.

2 comments:

Megan said...

Perhaps it's because they've been stretched over those enormous eyeballs of yours for so many years. I bet what's actually happening is that your eyeballs are slowly leaking out their jelly-ballness, which, in turn, is making your eyelids look more skin-ny. Nothin' wrong with looking like a muppet...

Bob said...

Yeah, I think that's just what happens when you have eyeballs the size of softballs.