Huh

I found a female condom in my driveway today.

Airports

I'd enjoy traveling more if airports had comfy couches. Or sleep rooms. Maybe there are airports with these things and I'm just flying to the wrong places. But I'd be a lot more willing to travel all day and take indirect flights if I knew there was a good place to crash out. Stretched out between bolted down seats or laying on the floor looking homeless is just not cool.

Check Her Out

There's a new baby torturer in town and her name is Tracy Raver. Apparently she was on The Today Show. I can only assume it's because terrorizing newborns has become the "in" thing again. And just when you though Anne Geddes was off the map. Wag of the finger to you, Tracy Raver. Take a peek: www.tracyraver.com

Nurse Lame

I went to the Badger game this weekend. I know, shocking. I temporarily joined the cult and actually enjoyed myself, though I'll never be a football fan. I get bored too easily. That's where my being a loser comes in. Whenever there was an interception, I'd say intussusception instead. I know, it makes absolutely no sense. So it's not even a good nursing joke. But I amused myself.

Forks

I don't care for forks. I understand they serve a purpose, but I'd rather just eat everything with a spoon.

Questions

Do you think neurosurgeons use the phrase, "Well, it's not brain surgery?" Said with a snotty, condescending voice, of course.

Rumor Has It

So, rumor has it that my last blog posts was a little upsetting. And by rumor, I meant that people have blatantly told me that this was the case. And now everyone is scared to talk to me, because they think that secretly I want to eat their faces. Just as an FYI, I haven't encountered any ugly babies recently, I mostly just get bored with the frequent baby talk. Some people are just douches. And my fake-interest face is pretty obvious if I don't want to talk to you. This is mostly shown to strangers. If I don't want to talk to my friends, I'm blatantly grumpy and crabby. I don't know if this was at all comforting.