God, I'm Gross

I'm pretty sure I peed this morning, didn't wash my hands, then flossed my teeth. 

Dear New Orleans,

I gained ten pounds, damaged my liver, got addicted to penny slots, saw more penises than expected and as many drag queens as I wanted. I'll totally be back!!

Sincerely, 

Erica 

Ugh

Pre-vacay grooming is the worst. People actually shave their entire legs all the time? To the knee is more than sufficient for everyday life. 

Grammar Nerd

Knock knock?
Who's there?
To.
To who?
To whom.

Hahahahahaha

I'm Just Saying

I was at the mall last weekend. And the women working in a store there just completely ignored my existence. It was otherwise empty, my cousin briefly made eye contact, then the two saleswomen continued with their personal conversation. There was no acknowledgment of me as a potential paying customer, at all. Now, I doubt they work on commission, so selling me something probably made no difference to them one way or another. But this brings up something I don't understand. Maybe this makes me cold and calculating or grasping, but I don't get people letting their personal beliefs/opinions get in the way of making that money. I don't know if these woman were being racist or just terrible employees, but even if they were racist, why would you let that stop you from doing your job? And all these stories you hear recently of bakers and wedding planners and so on refusing to provide service to gay couples? I'm sorry, if I was a florist and gay marriage became legal in my state, the only thing I'd say is "Cha-Ching!"

*Apparently I should pay attention to current events. I guess folks in Indiana don't agree with me*

Dear Chuck Tingle,

Why are you trying to kill me? Because of you, I continue to experience the phenomena of insta-tears. I see one of your new book titles and I completely bypass laughter and go from zero to sobbing. You're just too much.

Sincerely,

Erica

What inspired revisiting Chuck Tingle? Well, I've been keeping up since I discovered him. But his latest story..."Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"? Took me over the edge again.

You Know You're A Nerd When...

You excitedly ask the librarian about the new device that they can stack books on to check them out all at once. 

Erica's Weird Stereotypes

Apparently it's hypocritical day. Stereotypes beyond annoy me. Most especially when they're applied to me, obvi. And since I hate hearing them, I've made a strong effort to not make assumptions about people. Now that being said...I kind of have some of my own random stereotypes based on personal experiences. Those are a little harder to break. So today births the new blog topic of Erica's Weird Stereotypes. Today's to share: all Mexican people smell amazing. Seriously. It's the same smell and I can't describe it. It's just fantastic. And whenever I walk in the rooms of my Mexican patients, I always take a deep breathe and wallow in the delightfulness. Told you they were weird. Keep an eye out for the next installment!

Hypocritical Opinion

I'm gonna argue that the world will have actually progressed when I stop constantly finding articles titled "Celebrities You Didn't Know Were Black" or "Celebrities You Never Expected To Be Gay" or "Attractive Celebrities with Unattractive (re:older or overweight) Spouses" or "Famous People You Didn't Know Had Black Spouses." That last one particularly annoys me. But guess what? 50% of the time I'm clicking on the link.

Funny Shiz

RotURs: I thought you were taking aviation lessons and you were gonna start flying yourself places.
Me: I did find a Groupon for flight lessons...Groupon is gonna get me in trouble.
Bob: Absolutely not. I hate to be predictable, but no*
RotURs: Zest for life at half the price


*Always calling himself trying to say no to something. You're not the boss of me!*

Funny

Reba: When will this midlife crisis be over? It's wearing on me.

Me: It's a third life crisis, thanks. Why I gotta die at 64? Also, NEVER!! Or when I run out of money. 

Phone Experiments

So I've been doing all these mini phone experiments cuz I'm trying to wean myself from being so addicted to it. Turns out this is really hard! I totally remember being forced to get a cell phone in 2003 and I only caved because I was sick of having to buy calling cards to make long distance calls. I hated the idea of being so accessible. (I continue to be kind of weird about that. No Twitter or Facebook, but apparently blogging is okay? No one ever accused me of making sense.) Fast forward 12 years and I NEED to have my phone in my hand constantly. Seriously, not having it accessible at all times has become borderline panic inducing. I have chargers in multiple locations, cuz I can't have it die! The thought of driving somewhere and not having a phone on the off chance I get into an accident? Or not being able to map unknown destinations? How can I live??!! And heaven forbid I have to sit somewhere and be bored! I have to check my email and text and play trivia! I have to be doing something at all times!!

Anyways, so the experiments. It's just little things. Not using my phone at work, turning off text notifications, just keeping it turned off for periods of time, limiting how often I check it.  And I know this is all kind of dumb and hypocritical, since I constantly have my iPad. It's just one of my weird things, I guess. Long story long, don't be surprised if there are days when I don't respond to messages or calls. Currently, I've decided that one day a week, I'm completely cut off. No tech devices for 24 hours. Gotta figure out the rules, though. Like if I can't use anything, can't do no tech on a work day. Is television included? Is it no tech devices at all or just no communication? Why am I bothering? Don't know what dumb point I'm trying to prove. Ugh, I need a life.