Disney Villains

It horrifies many to know that my Disney life lessons were taken from the villains, not the princesses. It's the villains that are willing to fight for their dreams, no matter who gets taken down along the way. So sad that it never quite works out, usually ending in their demise. Here are my top three...

3. Scar. Scar wanted to be king, period. Kill his brother and his nephew? Not a problem, not the slightest hesitation. While technically not cool, look at that drive and determination! Kudos, Scar, I appreciate you! A shame those hyenas ate you. Never sell out the muscle.

2. Maleficent. While not my number one, Maleficent is the baddest bitch, and was actually voted the most sinister Disney villain. Maleficent was amazing cuz her actions were fueled by spite. She didn't get invited to a party. And she said fuck that, I'm cursing your daughter to die. Daaaaammmmnnn! Also, she proclaims herself to be the Mistress of all Evil. How ballin' is that? And talk about perseverance. She was not about to let the prince find Sleeping Beauty. She turned herself into a dragon! She fought hard until the very end. Stupid interfering fairies. I give you props, Maleficent.

3. Ursula.  Anyone who knows me knew she was going to be number one. First, you must know that I hate Ariel. She was a spoiled, whiny little bitch, so she needed to be taken down anyways. And Ursula was willing to do it. Except Ariel isn't even her true target. She's just using her to get at her father (who has the worst gigantic man nipples, btw). Like Scar, Ursula wanted to rule and fuck all who are in her way. I also appreciate that she just loves power. Manipulating merpeople with their own emotions and then trapping them for all eternity? Classic. Ursula worked so hard to ruin Ariel's life. Even pretending to be in love with lame ass Eric. And for a brief, shining moment, Ursula ruled the sea. It was glorious. But as usual, heaven forbid the villain win. And Ursula's body is at the body of the ocean after being impaled by a ship.

Oh, my villains, how I love you! And in case you're worried, I'm not a sociopath.

P.S. As a final quick shout out,  I'd like to give special recognition to Mother Gothel from Tangled. I appreciated how she shanked Flynn Rider. No drama, no villain speech, just a knife in the kidney. Kudos.