Why I Shouldn't Read, Part One

I love mystery and suspense novels. The problem with my reading them is I have a serious case of paranoia. It's not something that overshadows my life or anything. But I shouldn't read books where the government does experiments on people, or politicians are involved in sex rings or cops take money from drug lords, or religious cults have sex with kids. Because that shit happens for real. I'm particularly bad with books where obscenely wealthy people are in weird societies and clubs. The scenarios go on and on. These books definitely contribute to my crazy because they color my view of people. I'm like the person that can't distinguish an actor from the roles they play. I'm super paranoid and pretty much don't trust anyone in a position of power. I'm terrified that I'm going to accidentally cross some rich dude or government official or drug lord and have my existence erased. Or get shot. What's my theme song again? What's hilarious about this is that I'm totally antisocial and barely hang out with my friends, let alone with anyone with that kind of power.