Werewolf

Am I the only person that thinks Bradley Cooper looks like a werewolf? It's mostly the teeth. Y'all know I have a thing about teeth.

Creepy

Does anyone else think those glow-in-the-dark runner statues in Olin-Turville park are fucking creepy? I'd like to bash the hell out of them with a baseball bat, but their glowing in the dark ruins my sneaking into the park under the cover of darkness.

Hells Yeah!!

100% on my telemetry test, bitches!! That shit was cake!

Common And Uncommon Phrases Used By My Family

So obviously, to me, all of these phrases are common. I've heard most of them my entire life. But as I've used them around my friends over the years, I've gotten some crazy ass looks. So here goes. Note: I will be giving the phrases only, without providing any explanation. I think most of them are self-explanatory anyways, but those looks I've gotten...

• Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra. (That one's for you, Bob)
• Gimme got shot.
• He thinks fat meat ain't greasy.
• She just about had a hay baby with a straw hat.
• Tell the truth, shame the devil.
• God don't like ugly.
• Madder than a raped ape.
• Higher than a monkey's butt.
• Hotter than the blue blazes.
• Hungry as a hostage.

Damn, I know that there are more but my mind is blanking. No worries, I'll continue to make updates as they come to me.