I Lied

I have three things to rant about.

• Fuck you, State Farm! You and your commercials...talk to your neighbors, State Farm has 40 million customers, call an agent. Well, I was one of those customers before I was kicked off for being too reckless a driver. So you can kiss my shiny metal ass, State Farm Insurance!
• The new iPhone commercials are killing me on the inside. Yes, I'd tell my baby daddy we were having our first child over the phone, since it has a cool new forward facing camera. And it would be totally easy to use sign language with one hand. I'm glad this phone exists to help me share all the most important moments in my life. Suck it, iPhone.
• I love the Old Spice commercials. I think that guy is hilarious. Not really a rant, more of a statement.