Kinda Funny

I make myself laugh. On the main Yahoo! page there was a link to a story about a kid who got attacked by a deer. What was funny was my response (though let's be honest, animals attacking humans is good stuff. When Animals Attack was an amazingly hilarious show). I didn't think, "Oh, poor kid." I thought "He was probably somewhere he had no business being." That, my friends, was a Vicki response if I ever heard one. And worthy of a chuckle.

Bernie. What Else Do I Have Going On?

This is going to be one spoiled ass dog. He got some good stuff this weekend. Though boo to Brandy for not letting me buy him a rhinestone collar. Apparently that's too girly. Also, for those who want to know, December 7th should be the day he comes to his new abode.

Old People Are Hilarious

This old lady had a huge grocery cart for a can of whipped cream, a container of dip, and a packet of gravy mix. Granted, if she's anything like my G'ma, she was using the cart as a substitute for a walker. But still, I just about died when I saw her three items on the belt.

Ouchies

I was kinda walking around half-naked today and totally rammed my boob into the door. Not okay.

Mystere

Ballerfest was this past weekend (and it rocked, of course) and I had the great idea that we should go see Mystere, one of the Cirque de Soleil shows at Treasure Island. Let me tell you, this was hands down one of the worst ideas I've every had. If I had paid full price for that ticket, I would've burned TI down. I wanted to shoot myself repeatedly in the face. It was completely awful. The costumes were creepy, the whole show didn't make any sense at all, there was a grown ass man in a big ass baby costume, and if the clown had come near me he would have gotten shanked. I spent the show alternately sleeping, checking my e-mail, researching Mystere on the interweb to see how long it lasted, and bitching loudly. My fondest wish would've been fulfilled if I had gotten kicked out of the theater. The worst moment probably came when the lame ass clown was performing (and people kept laughing despite the fact that he was incredibly wack) and interacting with the audience, and I realized that I was being denied an intermission. I'd been waiting for the chance to leave the theater for five minutes. DENIED!! I died a little on the inside. The show only had two positive points: The music was awesome to sleep to and the acrobatics were kickass. In conclusion, I beg you all to save your money and never see a Cirque de Soleil show. It makes me angry just thinking about it.

Bernie's Visit

Bernie is adorable! And immense. His head is about level with the kitchen counter, it's as big as a bowling bowl, and Beasley, Brandy's beagle, can walk through his legs. He and Beasley had a little tiff, which sadly ended in Beasley getting on a chair, telling Bernie about himself, and Bernie backing down. Beasley didn't appreciate a monster trying to chase and play. Only I could find a 150lb wimpy dog. He only showed his vision issues once by running into the fence. But in his defense the garage light was shining behind it, with a glare probably making it less visible. Bonus, he didn't fall down the stairs to the basement. He's definitely a drooler, no shock there, but nothing I couldn't deal with. I'll just need strategically placed towels throughout the house. He seems to be a cuddler and would put his butt in my lap. Overall he's very well behaved. And luckily, I don't have too many easily accessed breakables, since his tail did knock one of the speakers off the television stand. Odds are pretty good that I'll get him, as the other people really interested in him had cats, which he tried to eat. And his foster parents didn't seem to have any concerns about me or the house. I think it's just a matter of filing paperwork and him getting corrective surgery to his eyelids before he can be officially adopted. I'm so excited!!! Hopefully everything goes smoothly.

Danimals Loves Me!

Yes, I am referring to the yogurt that supposed to be for kids. They make crush cups!! You just crush the cup to squeeze up the yogurt and slurp it out. And we all know that I don"t like to use spoons for things like yogurt, pudding, or applesauce. You could say that GoGurt has already provided me with the opportunity to go spoon-less. But it's not the same. There isn't that same challenge of trying to get your tongue to the bottom corners of the cup. And we know I love a challenge, the stupider the better.