Question

You know those ice cream maker balls? Do you think I could put all the ingredients in and then play with Bernie and make him do all the work to actually make the ice cream?

I Fucking Hate Birds

Number one down side of spring: birds. I fucking hate birds. Don't chirp and wake me up in the morning. Don't hang around my deck and lawn. Luckily I haven't heard my arch nemesis too much lately. That's right, the chickadee. I hate the chickadee more than any other winged spawn of Satan. Though those fucking geese are a close second. And they all better be glad I don't own a BB gun. And that I don't have the brain power or drive to build an electric force field around my house.

OCD

Bob tells me I'll have full on OCD by the age of 46. I later realized it bugged me that he picked 46 for a number, when 45 or 50 were better, since they're multiples of 5.

Bad Idea

Don't boil water and then fall asleep. One day the house will burn down.

Ha!

I found it bitches! So suck it!!

Seriously?

Who loses a cell phone after five days?

I Get It

We all know I use the term racist to pertain to just about any discussion of race and racial stereotypes. I do know what the actual definition of racist is. For example, I know that because I'm black, I'm superior to everyone in every way. Both true and racist. General awesomeness also explains my totally superiority. That and a little delusion of grandeur.