This Needs To Happen

My new life goal is to have a wax version of myself made by Madame Tussauds. I don't care what I have to do to make this happen. What would I do with it? Probably just find different ways to creep people out.

This Actually Happened

While getting ready for work today and spending way too much time looking in the mirror and putting makeup on, I actually was listening to and belting out Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror."  It's probably a good thing I live alone.

Life Lessons

Don't give random guys at the gas station your phone number. It is okay to say "no, thank you" and drive away.

What If..

What if someone threw acid at you? That would not be cool.

Inside Joke

Just so y'all know, bananas are $.39 a pound at Sendik's this week.

Where's The Love?

It's time to make some broad sweeping generalizations and have fun with stereotypes. Black men go for white woman. White men go for white and Asian women. So the question is: who's lovin' the sistas? Am I missing something? Has living in Madison for 13 years blinded me to the fact that there are black men who like black women? Are white dudes stepping up and deciding they like the chocolate? Where are the Latin guys in this mix? An inquiring black female mind would like to know.

I Love Demi Lovato

I just felt a need to declare that.

Stop Pissing Me Off

Nothing pisses me off more than the following conversation:

"God, this tastes like dog shit!"
"How do you know what dog shit tastes like? Have you eaten it before?"

Feel free to insert any disgusting thing for dog shit. Why the fuck do people say this?! No, I haven't fuckin' eaten dog shit before. And I have a fuckin' nose. I know how shit smells. And last time I checked, your sense of smell and your sense of taste work together. So if I say something smells like shit, don't be an asshole and just agree that it's gross. Asshole.