Number One Pet Peeve

My all time number one pet peeve? There is a sign clearly indicating that a lane is going to end and you need to merge. People like myself see that sign and merge immediately. And then there are those motherfuckers that zoom past in the closing lane anyways and then try to cut in at the front. Hell to the no. I will ride bumper to bumper to make sure they don't have a window. I just want to ram them off the road. Grrrr! I cannot think of anything else that makes me as instantly furious as this does.

Happy Anniversary!

As of October 19th, my blog is two years old. I never commit to anything. Who would've thought I'd actually keep up with this? Though is it really that surprising, considering writing here is the equivalent of me talking just to listen to the sound of my own voice?

Cosmetic Surgery

I need eyelid surgery. I have enough skin on my eyelids to cover a whole new set of eyes. I can't wear eye shadow, because it gets cakes up in my fatty eyelid folds. It's disgusting and I hate them. And I don't care what any of you say. I do ask y'all not to blatantly stare at their grotesqueness when you next see me.

Me Being Violent Again

I want to key the next car I see with a "Coexist" bumper sticker on it.

Cookie Monster

I don't appreciate that Cookie Monster now makes healthy food choices. If you go to Sesame Street's website (don't ask why I was there) and look up his likes, it says he enjoys crunchy fruits and vegetables. Though it does still say that cookies are his favorite food. And he did sing the healthy foods song back in the day. Which I sadly still know most of the words to.

The Hunger Games

I just started Suzanne Collins' sci-fi series. I'm only on page 40 of "The Hunger Games' and it's amazing. So amazing, I'm actually going to try to read the book all the way through, without reading the last chapter or the summary on Wikipedia. That's right.

I Have To Have It!

Has anyone seen the infomercial for the EZ Cracker? While the commercial itself is ridiculous, because only a moron can't crack an egg without getting shell into the bowl, I still need it. It has an attachment that separates the yolk from the white. Amazing. Watch here:http://www.ezcracker.com/

Random Thoughts

• One of my favorite hobbies is to ignore people when they make leading statements. Or say something to themselves just a little too loudly, because they want a reaction. If you want to tell me or ask me something, just spit it out.
• There should be more places where I can go to get pie. They should also sell a variety of cobblers and crisps.
• I like to torment my dog. If he runs to the front door, I purposely go in the back. I grab his tail because it pisses him off. Sometimes I get him super excited, then tell him to go away.
• It really bugs me when books are re-released and the new covers are from the movie.
• I hate my walnut tree more than anything on this earth.
• I totally park in the expectant mothers parking space all the time. Who's gonna have the nerve to accuse me of just being fat?
• The thought of a male Brazilian horrifies me. The wax, not the human being.
• I will never get into an enclosed water slide because I'm convinced I'll get stuck and they'll need a crane to get me out.
• Why do television shows feel the need to tell me that they're filmed in front of a live studio audience? I don't care.